POEM: Counting to 20

counting to 20b copy

‘I can count to twenty,’ said Wilf

‘Go on then,’ said Mum

‘One, two, three,
Four, five, six,
Seven, eight,
Nine, ten,
Twelve, thirteen, fourteen,
Fifteen…fifteen, sixteen,
Seventeen, eighteen,
Nineteen, twenty.
Finished!’

‘What happened to eleven?’

‘I don’t like eleven.’

When my son was little, he loved maths and was always asking questions about numbers. It reminded me of the joy you have counting up when you first learn to do it. This poem is about that joy with some humour thrown in.

POEM: The Spelling Test

OK children
It’s time for the Spelling Test
Remember: no talking
If I see you talking
I will tear up your paper for cheating
Susan, what did I just say?
That’s right, NO TALKING.
Question 1
Suc-cess
Remember my clue:
Two cuffs, two sleeves
Michael, are you paying attention?

I’em a sawin bird in the ski
dragon wing tell mak me fli
a nite in rmer rides my bak
blazin sward helld hi for attak

OK
Question 2
Ne-ces-sary
Here’s the clue
One cup, two sugars
Remember that
One cup, two sugars
Michael, have you got number one done yet?

The prinsess waits in her towa
walls of vine and flowa
a which chains her too a bed
kacklin lowdly makin dred

Michael! You haven’t even started!
How do you expect to write
if you can’t spell?

When I was at Primary School, I was not very good at spelling. Every week I would work hard to learn my list of 10 spellings. Then Friday would come and the test. I always got 10 out of 10 but still my writing in my exercise book had every other word underlined in red for being spelt wrong. I only learnt to spell by having a dictionary next to me and looking up every word as I wrote and by reading lots. Reading helps.

After The Launch

 

Well, well, well the brilliant book launch went ahead smoothly and there was a good gathering of parents, children and teachers to hear my little speech and then extracts from the book, Wishbone Billy. The nice people of Big Green Bookshop are stocking the book and sales have gone well with little left of the original stock.

If you can’ t get to the shop and want a copy, the book is available on Amazon for only £4.99 and has received some great reviews:

Fantastic read for primary aged and young teens. Well-paced Dahlesque adventures will keep the kids gripped.   Doug

Great read. We loved it.   Andre

A fantastic read for children. Both my kids loved it. We all particularly enjoyed the scene with the cow and the bedroom scene with Cuddles is hilarious. Where’s the next book?   JL

What’s it about?
Well, it’s a  non-stop, edge of your seat ride with Billy on his magical journey in search of new, better parents. Have your parents ever annoyed you? Have they ever done something you could never forgive? Well, Billy has annoying parents. In fact, he has the worse parents IN THE WORLD! They are lazy, selfish and cruel. His life is terrible. What can save him? One day, something magical happens: Billy gets a wishbone and wishes for new parents. But as everybody knows: you better be careful what you wish for. This book is full of eccentric, zany characters that will have you laughing out loud.

If you want to get a taste of the book, the first few chapters are on here.

 

POEM: CHOCOLATE

 

Little Brother entered house
said he found
some chocolate
delicious chocolate
covered from head to foot
in sticky brown
beautiful chocolate
heavenly chocolate
licked his fingers
one to ten
melted chocolate
that sweet chocolate
a dreadful smell around
just like a dog pen
nothing like chocolate
it wasn’t chocolate!

POEM: SNACK TIME RAP

Bogey, bogey
Nice and green
Why about you
Is mum so mean?

Up my nose
I mustn’t linger
Scrabbling around
With my finger

Bogey, bogey
Nice and green
Why about you
Is mum so mean?

Your nutritional value
Is in doubt
As out my nostril
I pop you out

Bogey, bogey
Nice and green
Why about you
Is mum so mean?

Part of you wobbles
Just like jelly
That’s the part
I stick on the telly

Bogey, bogey
Nice and green
Why about you
Is mum so mean?

Over my tongue
You slither
Your sliminess
Makes you slicker

Bogey, bogey
Nice and green
Why about you
Is mum so mean?

A tasty snack
Just up your nose
All can enjoy
One of those

Bogey, bogey
Nice and green
Why about you
Is mum so mean?

POEM: My DoG Ned

Image

My dog Ned
Has got no head
He has to talk
Using his bum instead
Brrrrp -Parrrp!

neddog2-001jotty

This short poem was came from a chat after listening to my daughter read. It was a Ruth Miskin text (notice, I don’t say story) called My Dog Ned. It was a joy to hear my daughter read but the book was something else (my opinions on such things have been said previously in a poem, Sownd et owt).
Anyway, I started to rhyme aloud a very silly poem about a dog called Ned for them.